Thursday... My Name Is Earl... Ep. 2-16... "The Birthday Party"

I think for half-hour sitcoms, I may just write down quotes instead of trying to blog, since a lot of times there isn't a linear story to follow.

Randy: It's an ice cream cake. That's your favorite kind of cake because it's got ice cream in the middle. Just like your favorite kind of truck does. You know, an ice cream truck.

Earl (Narration): A few years ago I was into some show where guys acted like jackasses. I think it was called "Dumbass."

Earl: Hey, Nescobar A-loplop, how's the English comin'?
Nescobar: I speak better than you, bitch!

Earl (interrupting Crabman): Yeah, yeah. I know, I've done some bad things, I'm aware of that. I've written them down. But I've done some good things too - I raised your son for five years, let's not forget about that!

Donny Jones: I listened to a whole Phish album! And it sucked!

Neighbor: He saw Jill doin' it with Doug, He saw Karen doin' it with clamps on her nubbies.
Karen: Hey!
Neighbor: It's ok, he saw me doin' it with clamps on my nubbies too! Thanks for lettin me borrow your nubbie clamps.

Joy (yelling out the window): We're gonna do stuff from the Kama Sutra, where i sit cross-legged and wiggle while you hold it for two hours like Sting does!

Joy (yelling out the window): It's time for spankings! But not for our kids, we're good parents. We use timeouts. It's time for momma spanking, cause I've been a bad girl!

Earl: How many G's in pregnant?
Joy: What do I look like, a professor of spellin'? Just put it on there, and do it soon.

Earl: You got great boobs, Peggy.
Deedee: My name's Deedee.
Earl: You got great boobs, Deedee.
Deedee (sincerely): Your momma sure raised a sweet talker.

[Earl finds Deedee's wooden leg in the bed]
Earl (jumping up frantically): Oh my God, oh my god!
Deedee (offscreen): You want me to whip up some eggs?
Earl (shouting): Shut up, I'm thinking! I mean, sure.

Deedee (offscreen): Earl, can you come in here and give me a hand?
Earl (to himself): A hand? there's a hand?

Randy: We thought tricking you would be funny. Like when you tied that rope to my foot? But instead of rope, it was mean words about things you've done that made you wanna hate yourself!

Crabman: Hey Earl, can I give you your cake now? The wind from the bullet hole in the wall keeps blowing out the candle.